Nikki’s Totem

When I was soliciting for stories for this show, I received this amazing story from fellow artist Nikki Henderson. I will give you the story and I will let you interpret the piece, I feel it is self-evident, and an example of why these stories are relevant and personal themes for art (and life).

I took the receipts from Nikki’s ordeal and incorporated them into a piece that I felt represented strength and identity.Upon working with the receipts the part I did not expect was for the ink to run, making the history illegible yet staining the paper, thus making those words a colored wash over the entire paper. A brief detail that becomes integral. This was an unexpected but poignant addition to Nikki’s Totem. Entering an ordeal in one form and emerging in another is not an uncommon experience.

If you read her story, it will tell you more than I can.


Her story:

I started just writing out lists, but I found that most items needed an explanation.

Furthermore, it wasn’t just a monetary loss. I pretty much slipped into a depression from the exhaustion. It is easy to become unmotivated when you are always tired. For a long time every ounce of energy, whether I could spare it or not, was focused on my health and trying to find ways to improve it to a somewhat normal state.

It was the Thursday evening before Easter long weekend last year. I was eating popcorn and I cracked a tooth off with a kernel. It didn’t hurt, and the dentists were all closed anyway, so I decided to make an appointment the following week. There was a three week wait for an
appointment, and in the meantime my cheek swelled up so much that I could hardly see or talk.

They squeezed me in sooner than they had planned but the infection had to be taken care of before the tooth could be removed.

These were the major costs:
penicillin 300 mg for 10 days $10.41 (antibiotics)
penicillin (rpt) 300 mg for 10 days $10.41 (antibiotics)
clindamycin 300 mg for 7 days $38.58 (antibiotics - this is the kind that put me over the top,
and I’m certain it would have become a lot worse if the pharmacist’s assistant had not
pulled me aside and recommended that I watch out for certain things)
fluconazole 150 mg for 3 days $38.79 (antibiotics - ironically to help counteract the side
effects of taking too many antibiotics)

I should also point out that most of these antibiotics were to be taken 4 times a day, as evenly
spaced as possible. Waking up to take meds in the middle of the night was exhausting and
troublesome for someone who was in constant pain and needed sleep to heal.

ibuprofen 600 mg for 8 days $10.28 (painkillers)
oxycodone 5 days worth $14.01 (painkillers - came with warnings that they were
highly addictive; after my second dose the room was spinning and I couldn’t stand--that
was all that I took)

I also went through at least two bottles over the next few weeks of over-the-counter painkillers like Tylenol and ibuprofen. I know this sounds like a lot, but if you’ve ever had tooth pain you’ll know exactly what I am talking about. There were also, of course, several trips to the dentist (sans dental plan) totalling $1108. I have included all of the costs of my successive visits as well; I went into a panic at the thought of going through this again and insisted on bringing any necessary dental work up to date.

When the tooth finally came out, there was a hook on the end of the root. My dentist had to twist and pull repeatedly and I was in tears. It took hours for the bleeding to stop and the infection was still there so that’s when I went on the clindamycin and the oxycodone. The continual use of antibiotics created an imbalance in my digestive system, with effects similar to food poisoning. It was a gradual decline and was easily passed off as the stomach flu until it became more severe.

By the time I realized what was happening, my body was infected, starving and dehydrated.
I don’t even know where to begin to calculate the money I lost from missing work. It all started in March and I left in July. My boss was very generous at first with sick days, but then I had to provide doctors’ notes or I would be let go. This was the most demeaning part of it all. My doctor would not give me a note, insisting that I could work, but failed to understand that my job was very physical (walking and lifting 40 hrs per week) and I currently needed a nap after walking only 2 blocks. I agreed to forfeit my full time position and was eventually able to work a daily 3 hr stretch.

After a few weeks I ended up leaving all together, as the stress of the bullshit, high school politics were continually wearing me out and my health (mental and physical) was more important than my job.

Other expenses:
For almost a month my diet consisted of yogurt, organic vegetable broth with lots of green onions (I kept craving onions, which I usually avoid, and I found out later that they are great for detoxing a strained system) or pureed vegetable soup, and gatorade. My doctor told me I had to eat as much Activia yogurt as I could stand (about 1/3 litre per day was my limit) and 2 litres of gatorade per day to rehydrate my body. I am so not kidding. Did you spot the irony here? I was constantly brushing my teeth to combat all of the sugar I was consuming.
Eventually I could eat wheat-free, preservative-free crackers, and then other things like small amounts of wheat-free pasta, peanut butter and other nuts, apples and organic juices, rice, and, yes, popcorn (organic and butter-free).

When I tried something that I longed for but that wasn’t acceptable, I would get horrible stomach cramps. I later developed some food intolerances with side effects such as mood swings, headaches, and hives. I have since isolated these foods and with my new diet I can still enjoy them periodically.

I am still taking Acidophilus -- a $15.99 bottle will now last me the usual 2 months, instead of a few weeks. I guess overall this is actually a significantly less expensive diet than I would have normally had, although initially much food went to waste as Lee was actually living in Saskatoon at the time and was only home periodically. He did have to make a couple of emergency trips back as I was freaking out at every new symptom or side effect that arose.
After hours and hours of researching for a new, more permanent diet and a useless trip to a
nutritionist, I eventually bought a $15 health book that a friend recommended to me. It turned out to be one of the best things that I have ever done. It explained how the different components of our bodies work together and how to eat the right foods that will help your body heal itself. My diet has completely changed now and fortunately I am required to eat mostly vegetables which are quite affordable.

I feel better and am consistently in a better state of mind than even before I got sick.
You had commented in one of your emails on how I was able to keep a positive outlook, despite all of this shit. I’m not sure it quite works like that. I haven’t always taken great care of myself and I think that in the realm of health disasters I got off really easily. It seemed to force me to do (or notdo) a lot of things at first, but in the long term it has allowed me the opportunity to change my life and I am now close to doing exactly what I want to for a career.

This piece is now available for sale at Headquarters gallery.

1649 rue Amherst

Montreal QC

514-678-2923

Nikki’s Totem – Jerome Prieur 2008
Mixed Media
Donated Dental Records (receipts) – Nikki Henderson
76 “x 12” x 12”
Destroyed in a fire (Montreal 2009)